My Six Loves (1963, Gower Champion)

The most anti-feminist crap imaginable – could’ve been hilarious camp if it wasn’t so boring and traditional. Each character seems close to expressing some kind of definition or interest before the movie yanks them back into its safe, bland, kiddy-pool world.

Debbie Reynolds (Susan Slept Here) is a successful New York actress, takes time off at her vacation house in Connecticut with her associate Eileen Heckart (Burnt Offerings, The Bad Seed). But they find six children with step-parents even more cartoonishly terrible than the ones in Million Dollar Baby. Debbie, naturally, throws her career away to live in the country and care for them – but first, whom to marry? Her slick New York agent who’s had a crush on her for years, David Janssen of Marooned? Or hunky local-hero minister Cliff Robertson, star of Underworld USA? It’s a no-brainer!

From the director of the great Mystery Science Theater short Once Upon a Honeymoon, the one where the woman sings about wanting a telephone in every room.

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