Ultraviolet (2006, Kurt Wimmer)

Opens with a long boring backstory evoking global terrorism, virus pandemics, holocaust death camps and vampires. Ugly. This is the second Milla Jovovich movie I’ve seen where the ultimate weapon to save mankind turns out to be a person.


Skin looks like plastic, or a video game cutscene, for some reason.

Yay, guy from Alien is her weapons supplier. Oh wait, no he’s the guy from Contact. Remember Contact?


Yeah it’s cool looking, but they allow the comic-book sci-fi aspect to justify the stupidest shit, as if there’s no need to do anything sensible anymore. I’m not saying the Spiderman movies make total sense, but at least there are recognizable character motivations and straightforward plots in those.


Everything is explained in mumble-jumble terms by the voice of the Spaceballs ship. Tons of ultraviolence but little blood since it’s all PG-13. How come she has better guns than anyone in the entire future – and a flying motorcycle and anti-gravity devices? Did William Fichtner invent those things? All the bad guys have are tons of faceless, undertrained cannon fodder guards lined up in perfect fascist rows.

It’s actually a cool movie whenever there is no plot at all. When the kid is involved (oh btw, there’s a kid) or Dax (bad guy, dude from Con Air) or William are explaining something or we hear backstory or there’s an emotional moment, it’s a big bunch of crap.