by ·Comments Off on Poltergeist (1982, Tobe Hooper)

The perfect 1980s movie. Mom smokes pot while dad reads a Reagan book. The family is snacking constantly! Family members are introduced while asleep, the dog making the rounds of the household eating snacks out of their hands and beds, and then no amount of haunting can make them lose their appetites. Horror movie I watched at a formative time and haven’t really revisited in forty years – fortunately it holds up.

First casualty is the family bird, who dies before we even meet her. The chairs-move-by-themselves bit escalates quickly to the tree/clown/closet/TV horror night, then the family calls in a university team (led by Beatrice Straight of Chiller) who faithfully documents the haunting but is in way over their heads. When the house gets too dangerous the other two kids are sent away and the great Zelda Rubinstein is summoned to provide self-contradictory advice, successfully rescuing Carol Anne from the TV dimension. Then they do not leave the house immediately: Coach Dad takes a late meeting at work (the real estate company that built the neighborhood on a graveyard) while the house attempts to eat the others. Then in part two they’re followed by an evil preacher and Coach gets possessed by a tequila worm, and part three was maybe set in a city parking garage? Maybe we’ll revisit these next shocktober.

The member of the research team who decided not to come back:

Mom is JoBeth Williams of The Big Chill:

by ·Comments Off on Candyman 3 (2021, Nia DaCosta)

All along I thought this was a remake, but it’s full of references to the events in the Bernard Rose movie, so it’s either part three or a rebooted part two (nobody remembers Farewell to the Flesh, which starred some girl from The Gate). Bookended with scenes of murderous cops, artist Morpheus (The Matrix 4) learns from Colman Domingo that he was the bonfire baby from the first movie, so he becomes the new Candyman, his girl Lysistrata (Chi-Raq) along for the ride. I guess every generation has its own Candyman, and somehow bees are involved. Victims include an art curator and his Joy Division girl, a new white lady reporter, and a bathroom full of high school girls. A real obvious movie, but so was the original, and I like this one’s look (and love the shadow puppetry) so I declare them both to be Pretty Good.

Yankee… hotel…

by ·Comments Off on Candyman (1992, Bernard Rose)

Virginia “V-Mad” Madsen (Highlander II: The Quickening) is researching urban legends with friend Kasi Lemmons (Vampire’s Kiss), who almost sinks the movie as the rational best friend trying to hold back V-Mad from her suicidal quest. Rose and his Roeg-ian DP get some good light and imagery, but between the Philip Glass score and Tony Todd’s voice, the soundtrack is the star. Movie seems to get going when she’s beaten up in the bathrooms by a fake Candyman, but soon afterwards she awakens in Vanessa Williams’s apartment with a dead dog, a missing baby, and a knife in her hand, she’s on her way towards becoming an urban legend herself, starting with her faithless husband Trevor (a cop in The Guardian). Much is made of this movie’s themes of racial violence and gentrification, but little is said about how the backstory murder scene has Ted Raimi in it.

Fake Candyman:

Real Candyman:

It’s All For You, Damien:

by ·Comments Off on Freddy’s Dead (1991, Rachel Talalay)

Opens with a Nightmare at 20,000 Feet scenario.

After a teenage apocalypse, 24 year-old Shon is the last living teenager in Ohio.

Fred keeps wizard-of-ozzing him, until Amnesiac Shon thinks he is the Anti-Freddy Messiah, then he gets dropped from a height onto a bed of spikes.

Dream Therapist Yaphet Kotto and Lisa “sister of Billy” Zane are counselors bringing a fresh batch of doomed teens to Freddytown. They immediately run into Roseanne and Tom Arnold, a bad sign.

Deaf Ricky Dean Logan (Back to the Future Part II) is given faulty hearing aids and his head explodes.

Gamer Breckin Meyer (of Skeet Ulrich thriller Touch) goes inside the television and gets Super Mario’d in a series highlight.

Boxer Lezlie Deane (of 976-EVIL) maybe survives along with the counselors?

Comin’ at ya:

Little Fred turned bad because his father was Alice “Prince of Darkness” Cooper. Now he’s dead, like the title says. They got him with a grenade, he’s dead for sure.

Talalay followed up with video store staples Ghost in the Machine (a mashup of Lawnmower Man with Pulse 1988) and Tank Girl.

Comin’ at ya:

by ·Comments Off on Dead End (2003, Andrea & Canepa)

A Marilyn Manson joke in the movie’s opening seconds, paterfamilias Ray Wise driving his daughter Laura, the camera hovering over the center line – somebody’s got a thing for David Lynch. It’s a Christmas road trip movie, petty griping from the back seat, until the ordinary gets interrupted by a Woman In White holding a dead baby. Figuring out what to do about the WIW the family members get separated, then they find what’s left of the daughter’s boyfriend Brad aside the road.

“This reeks of alien activity, you guys.” They appear to be on a loop road like the one in Freddy’s Dead, and whenever the Woman In White kills someone the survivors see them being taken away in a black car. After her son disappears mom goes nuts and shoots Ray in the leg, then she’s next. It all turns out to be a purgatorial fantasy when the daughter wakes up and is told she survived the car crash that killed the others.

Not a bad movie, though the music is a great crime. Most of the people who made this never worked again. The DP did an Elijah Wood thing, an exec producer worked on Voyage of Time. The mom is horror regular Lin Shaye, in Critters and The Hidden and New Nightmare, the WIW was a beer spokesmodel, and the daughter was in a Sid Haig / Bill Moseley movie that Rob Zombie had nothing to do with.

by ·Comments Off on Terrifier 2 (2022, Damien Leone)

A year after part one, teen Sienna is dressing as Non-Copyright-Infringing Victoria Secret Wonder Woman for a halloween party with her friends while her little brother Jonathan is going through a (timely) nazi phase and discovering The Backstory relating to their dead artist father and killer klown Art, when his hero comes around and terribly torture-kills all of their family and friends. Looks slick, and I like Art’s new imaginary girlfriend, but all of this feels like an Elm Street sequel where each scene last too long. I was annoyed much of the time, but can’t stay mad at my best friend Art The Clown.

The girl has a musical advertisement dream sequence:

by ·Comments Off on Perfume of the Lady in Black (1974, Francesco Barilli)

Silvia runs a lab of brightly colored liquids in bubbly beakers, and in the evenings she alienates her boyfriend then has traumatic flashbacks to the time she saw her mom having sex with some guy. Paura all around. You gotta watch at least one nonsensical Italian movie per shocktober.

Finally something happens: friend Francesca shows up dead in the tub. “They said the water must’ve been too hot… her heart couldn’t handle it.” Then Silvia splits in two, her adult and child selves having a conversation like the poster of The Tale. Young Self kills the neighbor’s cat, Older Self kills the neighbor. They murder a few more sexual harassers, and all seems to be going well, then Young Self pushes them off a roof, leading to a culty final scene where the men she’d killed gather around her body and eat her guts.

Barilli also made Hotel Fear (Pensione paura), his cowriter worked on Who Saw Her Die?, and the DP shot the Carmelo Bene movies and Padre Padrone. Older Self is Four Flies star Mimsy Farmer, and oh no, Young Self grew up to star in Ghosthouse.

Follow the trail to the titular perfume:

by ·Comments Off on Bring Her Back (2025, Danny & Michael Philippou)

People seem unhappy with this movie because it’s full of cliches, is All About Trauma, and it torments and abuses and murders children. But I had a pretty good time watching Sally Hawkins learn about demonic resurrection rituals on bootleg VHS then bumble around until her plan gets so out of control that she kills herself. Also fun because both Foster Mom Sally and her cat-strangler son are dangerous, and we don’t learn until late that she has got him possessed by demons and wants to do the same with her new blind ward Piper, painting P’s older brother Andy as a problem child to get him sent away. And her cat is named Junkman, pretty good name.

by ·Comments Off on Scream 3 (2000, Wes Craven)

RIP Liev and his Gossip Girl-friend, as the new killer goes around tricking people with an electric voice-cloner. Lance Henriksen and Roger Corman are working on their Stab trilogy, a cover version of “Red Right Hand” playing on set, when Detective McDreamy comes to investigate why cast members are being killed off IRL. The two casts mix as Parker Posey, playing Fake Gale Weathers, is dating Dewey and tailing the real Gale for character tips, and all the worst characters get slashed as our old team takes their place. They all end up on an old Hollywood mansion as the movie becomes increasingly nonsensical, the closest to Freddy dream-logic these things have been (complimentary), topped by a pre-taped appearance by the rules-explainer-guy who wants to explain how trilogies work in the event of his death in part two. Killer is film director Scott Foley, McDreamy’s Grey’s Anatomy coworker.