Comically evil monocled crown prince Roy D’Arcy (The Last Warning) and his more traditionally evil-rich-guy cousin John Gilbert (star of The Big Parade the same year) are both charmed by traveling performer Mae Murray and compete to get her into bed. Gilbert really falls for her, but the royal family says he can’t marry a commoner, so she thinks he hasn’t been serious.

After plans to marry the least-evil of the royals falls apart, she decides to marry the evilest guy around as revenge: the country’s richest man, foot pervert Tully Marshall (unrecognizably grizzled in The Big Trail). This is too much excitement for the pervert, and he has a heart attack on her wedding night, turning Mae into a merry widow.

Baron Rich Guy and his entourage:

Master seducers stock their bed with blindfolded string musicians:

Now that she’s so very rich, the royal family isn’t as dismissive of her. To further torment Gilbert she pretends(?) to be engaged to the crown prince, then everybody dies except lovebirds(?) Mae and Gilbert, so they end up royal and rich together. I didn’t even check what music was on the DVD, just put on my silents mix, which started strong with Ikue Mori and spent half its time on a very long Oren Ambarchi ambient drum groove.