by ·Comments Off on Three Extremes (2004, Miike & Park & Chan)

Dumplings (Fruit Chan)

Bai Ling of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow is abortionist-chef Aunt Mei, and her latest rich customer is from Don’t Go Breaking My Heart 2. I once watched the feature-length version of this on bootleg DVD, which defeats the point of bathing in all the lovely green shades brought out by Christopher Doyle, shooting a WKW movie without the blurry slow-mo. The movie’s other point is to gross you out with all the baby-eating, which evokes Monty Python’s crunchy frog sketch. Customer wants to look youthful forever so her bigshot husband Tony 2 will keep liking her, and maybe eating babies is the answer? Nice peek into early-century medicine, doctor handing out mood-altering pills to pregnant women.

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Cut (Park Chan-wook)

Opening long-take of a vampire film-in-the-film, the camera doing that post-Fight Club thing where it has to float through objects. Later, the vampire film’s director (the No Other Choice guy) has been tied up on the same set, while an extra from his films explains his class resentment while chopping off fingers from the director’s pianist wife (the chef/daughter of Oldboy). The extra has got an overcomplicated revenge plot (and a nice dance routine), and everyone ends up confessing too many things until the wife gets close enough to bite her kidnapper’s neck off, then the director strangles her while she’s still immobile.

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Box (Takashi Miike)

Writer dreams of a man burying a box, then has a long, slow conversation with her agent. Writer is near-catatonic, flashbacks reveal she was half of a contortionist circus act whose act involved two sisters who could fold themselves into two small boxes. One night she locked her sister in the box and attacked their keeper with a dart, then the place burned down. Sorry to make the movie sound exciting – it’s mostly her moving very slowly while feeling trauma, reliving the fire again and again, until her dreams/visions allow her to apologize to the dead sister in the box after being berated by the circusmaster.

by ·Comments Off on Castle Freak (1995, Stuart Gordon)

How did Gordon get mixed up with Full Moon Entertainment? Guess I shouldn’t act like he was in a position to choose his own studio, between Fortress and Space Truckers – at least this one’s a Lovecraft story. Probably the only time the editor of Puppet Master 2 worked with the cinematographer of Dillinger Is Dead.

Jeffrey Combs inherited a spooky castle, always a bad sign, arrives to claim it with his wife who hates him (Barbara Crampton in a thankless role) and blind daughter, and without their son who he recently killed in a drunken car crash. And inside the castle lives the titular freak, who recently murdered its keeper/tormentor, and now chews off its thumb to escape the cuffs and go exploring (finger-trauma handcuff escapes are becoming a theme this month).

Combs brings home a local hotgirl – she wanders into the castle and gets freaked (it chews her boobs off). Combs is arrested because people are going missing, and you’d think it would help his case that the freak kills two more cops while their suspect is in custody, but Combs still has to conk a cop on the noggin and escape to save his imperiled family and battle the freak to their deaths on a rainy roof.

by ·Comments Off on The Sadness (2021, Rob Jabbaz)

Starts as a mild relationship drama (she has a job, he is useless), then he goes outside and witnesses an extremely sudden citywide outbreak of The Crazies. The infected get red around their big black eyes, sport a big grin, and torture normals for fun, retaining their person skills (can talk and use weapons). After no living humans are in sight, the crazies have violent blood orgies. So our guy runs back home to come up with a plan, after the gardener neighbor cuts off a couple of his fingers, meanwhile the girl has taken the midnight meat train to work, uh oh. Rest of the movie is them trying to find each other, meeting up at a hospital, each trailing their own zombie archnemesis. I feel like it’s trying to be somewhat comical in an over-the-top gory kind of way, like Terrifier, but mostly ends up depressing (“charmless, sadistic“).

by ·Comments Off on Kinds of Kindness (2024, Yorgos Lanthimos)

1. Plemons is married to Hong, living according to strict instructions from Dafoe, until they have a disagreement and Plemons is cut loose, extremely pathetic on his own. Qualley is part of the organization, also under Dafoe, and Stone appears to be the new Plemons, until Jesse figures out how to get back in his employer’s good graces. The music is all doom-piano or moaning choir. Goes nicely with Yorgos’s project of deconstructing human behavior.

2. Plemons is a cop, Athie his partner, his wife Emma has been missing and arrives home acting strange, so he tells people that she’s not his real wife, then finds ways to prove it (cw: finger trauma). Good commitment to casting quirky people all down the line in these.

3. Plemons and Stone in another Dafoe cult, this time one whose members only use water from a tank that Hong has cried in. Qualley is twins, Alwyn a rapist husband, and in an episode three exclusive, Hunter Schafer of Cuckoo is an attempted resurrectionist.

by ·Comments Off on Where the Devil Roams (2023, Poser/Adams/Adams)

Unpromising beginning with dodgy compositing and fake film distress as we’re told a long poem, then a bridge that reminds me of The Empty Man (everything reminds me of The Empty Man). Watching this after When Evil Lurks because I keep getting them confused with their similar titles, and Lurking definitively beat Roaming. This movie certainly does roam. Its three leads (family of hopeless carnie thief/murderers with a terrible musical act until they steal a better one from a devil-dealing finger-traumatist) are a real family, also the movie’s directors. They’d previously made Hellbender (metal music/witchcraft) and The Deeper You Dig (clairvoyant murder-suspense).

The devil-dealer is Mr. Tipps, who nightly cuts off his fingers for the crowd, then sews them back with cursed thread – he stole the thread originally, so it’s only fair that our trio steals it from him later. The girl of the family is said to be mute but I didn’t realize, since she sings in their act. The mom kills somebody in each town they pass through, and I can’t tell if this is supposed to be vigilante justice or if they’re just remorseless criminals. Dad gets WWI flashbacks when he sees blood (and is incidentally afraid of birds), so has to be blindfolded during the crimes, and eventually during their circus act. So it’s set in the past (1920s?) but doesn’t feel authentically past-tense, more of an antique shop present. The parents eventually get some limbs chopped off by an axe girl at a home they invaded (played by their other IRL daughter) and the dad becomes catatonic, but still performs his nightly onstage dance to the girl’s alt-rock song.

by ·Comments Off on The Banshees of Inisherin (2022, Martin McDonagh)

Weirder and more pathological than expected. Yes I’ve seen In Bruges, but that starts out in a violent context while this is about gentle island people in 1923. We get a hell of a character from Brendan Gleeson, who abruptly wants to be left alone to write fiddle tunes, showing he’s serious by psychotically mutilating himself until he can’t play anymore. We get a sick payoff to Barry Keoghan finding a stick with a hook (“What would you use it for, I wonder… to hook things that were the length of a stick away?”), the loss of a great donkey, a shitty cop, some terrible loneliness, and a nearby civil war nobody seems to comprehend.