Locorazo screening number one. A change in the formula this year, we’ll get into it later. Really nice to see a soft, grainy movie from this decade that doesn’t look like digital glop.

Solange was doing fine at school until her parents decided to get divorced – now she gets detention, steals from a store, cries during class. Mom (Lea Drucker, very good as usual) is an actor, dad (one of the guys I didn’t mention who Juliette Binoche dates in Let The Sunshine In) runs a guitar shop and has been seeing his coworker. Solange says she knows her parents don’t love each other, but she’ll try to stay alive anyway. Axelle wrote La France and Mrs. Hyde and Don Juan, and plays the dean in Bozon’s Mods.

While a young couple is having their trite relationship drama, flesh-eating fungal tentacles are literally hellraisering inside their mattress. This movie has stop-motion tendencies, and a lot of fabric-level textural views with insectoid rumbling audio. Death Bed meets She Dies Tomorrow: many other movies have aimed for this synthwave cronen-core vibe and missed.

Good twists on the formula, becoming both prequel and sequel while still leaving the series open to infinite new premonitions. Kaitlyn has been having someone else’s deathdream, that of her hot young gramma Brec “Iris” Stargirl. She tracks down Iris, who saved so many people that death took forty years to rube-goldberg each of the restaurant survivors and is now coming for their families who never should’ve been born, Back to the Future style.

But Death is catching up fast: Uncle Howie gets lawnmowered at the picnic, which is as full of death-bait as a gymnast’s balance beam. Tattoo Parlor Erik survives a fan-chain attack and shop fire, then a garbage truck compacts his sister, then he’s killed by an MRI machine while absurdly trying to flatline Peanut Allergy Bobby in order to escape Death. That’s right, they’ve learned the Death Rules from Tony Todd (who finally gets his own lore besides just being the Harbinger Coroner), though it never seems to help. The three survivors retreat to grandma’s fortress, but it explodes and everyone dies. The most suspenseful bit was when someone almost says the words “clear river.”

The directors are following-up their live-action Kim Possible movie, and one of them made a 2010s Leprechaun sequel, jeez. Sequels that are named Bloodline(s): Final Destination 6, Hellraiser 4, Wrong Turn 5, Tremors 5, a Rosario Dawson Wonder Woman, and Pet Sematary 4 (which features “Bad Moon Rising” just like this movie does).

Something is up with mirrors, and mom realizes the woman in the yard is her own confused, chicken-murdering self, or rather her suicidal ideation incarnate, and that she’s trapped in the mirror world, like if Us was 100x less interesting and featured Nosferatuan shadow-snatching. Yard Woman never seems to do anything, but all the pets are dead and everyone’s hurt and she’s spreading family discord, letting the days go by. Her first words are “how did I get here?” Mom saves the day by time-tunnelling into the gun locker(?). Cameo appearances: before dad’s fatal car crash they park outside a movie theater showing The Mirror Has Two Faces… and was that a Uneeda Biscuit canister in their shed?

“A bit annoying and overwritten,” was my first thought, before landing on “uniquely idiotic.” But the opening sequence features Adam Scott with a flamethrower, so among all the sorry humor and sub-Final-Destination Rubegoldbergian kills, we get a few undeniable pleasures. Also some nice long cross-fades, and a couple of possible Bruce Campbell references. Skeleton Crew has now birthed two and a third theatrical films (The Mist, The Raft) plus some anthology horror episodes and apparently a Guy Maddin version of Here There Be Tygers?? That’s what the wiki says, though the lboxd description of Maddin’s Tygers sounds as faithful to the King story as The Lawnmower Man.

The Streaming:

Anyway, the monkey… twin boys (nu-Fregley in an animated Diary of a Wimpy Kid) inherit the thing, it kills their babysitter (not that they’re even aware) and their mom and uncle, then 25 years later their aunt, as they grow into twin Divergent Theos who are trying to find the monkey in order to kill each other. This latter part is supposed to be in the present-day, but all the phones still have cords. Also starring Orphan Black as their mom… Young Timothee Wonka as one twin’s kid… Elijah “Wirt” Wood as a guru stepdad… Sarah “daughter of Eugene” Levy as the aunt… and Rohan “no relation to Bruce” Campbell.

Horses:

Mark Asch:

What constitutes “realism,” when reality itself has changed so vastly, so comprehensively? The elasticity of the term is the defining quality of Jia’s filmography, which, in telling the story of people living through immense social change, variously reaches for strange effects, formal wooliness, and reflexivity. His films are a canvas stretched across the frame of a world forever in flux.

Vadim Rizov:

Li has aged much more dramatically than Zhao but both their transformations over nearly a quarter-century are inevitably poignant. Does that generate anything beyond a reflexive effect? I think so; Caught by the Tides is a multiverse manifestation rather than nostalgia trigger — or, at least, this is a lot of neat footage, and it’s fun to see it find a home. Above all else, Zhao is a seemingly infinite performer whose affect hasn’t really been unpacked yet. Her stony unreadability is broken by unpredictable responses to others, manifestations of interest punctuating the deadpan surface of inscrutable women who, over the long haul, are reconfigured as martyrs or stoic survivors. Caught by the Tides reminds us that we’re all lucky as viewers that she and Jia found each other; it’s maybe the actress-director partnership of the ages.

Told K this isn’t a doc when she asked, but it turns out all of Paul’s social media stuff is real, oops. Paul’s in his oversharing era with public video diaries and Q&As with followers. The #1 thing I like about the movie is the record-crackle sound on certain edits.