Not the most compelling story, but the film itself is so lovely. It’s been a minute since I watched an Oliveira but this has got to be among his greatest color cinematography, shot by Mário Barroso who’d soon move on to Monteiro films when Oliveira started working more in French and English. Came out between Non and Inquietude – there are seven other 1990s features I need to catch up with. The actors wait patiently while the narrator speaks their thoughts or backstory, or talks about them telling stories or doing actions we don’t see them doing, then they carry on with their scripted business.

Doctor Luís Miguel Cintra is set up with the beautiful young Ema, who is really too young until her aunt dies and she turns into wide-eyed Leonor Silveira. Time accelerates, and soon enough she’s sleeping with violinist Narcisco who is her daughters’ age. Nobody figures out how to have a successful relationship or marriage, eventually all of them die.

Leonor/Ema with Luís Lima Barreto and young Diogo Dória:

Moments before Luís tosses this cat straight into the camera:

Per Rosenbaum:

“This is a lyrical film,” Oliveira has aptly written. “It is so in the way a woman resists men, who represent power, on the strength of her poetic outlook on the world, even if it is mere illusion… This is the theme of Abraham’s Valley: how poetry will lead Ema to her own agony, how she will construct her death on the basis of a poetic view of the world and finally, how she will, step by step, organize such agony poetically.”

Young Ema:

I thought I was a bad viewer getting time periods mixed-up, but Michael Sicinski:

Part of what makes Oliveira’s cinema so constantly disarming has to do with this auteur’s disarming use of time, a factor that became much more pronounced in his later years. Take Abraham’s Valley, a film more than three hours in length. The characters in the film, particularly married couple Ema and Carlo and their servants, scan as aristocratic holdovers from another age, the same type of subjects who so often populate Oliveira’s cinema. Looking at their dress and behavior, one would place them in the mid-19th century. But only after 90+ minutes of screen time is it affirmed that Abraham’s Valley takes place in the present day (1993).

Unhappy Family:

Realtor Yang Kuei-mei (The Hole‘s downstairs resident) brings home her Eat Drink Man Woman costar Chen Chao-jung from the mall, and while she’s occupied, passerby Lee steals her house key. Now all three of them live part-time in the same apartment, semi-aware of each other. Nobody really feels great about any of this, or about their jobs or anything else.

Does all their work seem scammy, or do movies make all businesses look scammy? This won the Golden Horse (over Eat Drink and Chungking Express) and the top prize at Venice (tied with Before the Rain, over Heavenly Creatures and Ashes of Time), beating two different Wong Kar-Wai movies within three months.

Sisters Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet are very cute but not rich, and after ditching fake friend Greg Wise they end up happily with Hugh Grant and Alan Rickman, respectively. Beautiful movie, if not quite as thrilling as Gemini Man.

They don’t make movies like this, and they never did. I thought I remembered this well, but I was missing most of the second half, plus the quality of light, some acting and scenery particulars, and lines like “a single wobbly stone can pry you loose from the path and serenade you with the whistling wind of the death-plummet,” so it’s always worth watching again.

George Toles named the movie’s town Tolzbad, haha. After Johan’s mountain-madness incest-suicide, his brother Kyle gets a job at the Count’s castle, then hears his mom saying she only ever cared for the count. Kyle kills the count in a duel, leading mom to kill herself in front of mute cobwebbed haunted attic-dwelling brother Franz. The late Johan’s girlfriend Klara gets a job in the mines, tries to enlist Kyle to kill her dad.

Ahead-of-its-time parody of MTV’s The Real World, also predicts the Almereyda Hamlet with chilling accuracy. Ben Stiller would go on to direct Heat Vision and Jack, but he and Janeane would never again be as cute as they are here. Ethan would arguably be cuter in the Before movies and even Hamlet. Winona is so cute in this that she bends time and space, creating a continuum of cuteness (a cuteinuum) with her other movies, rendering their relative cutenesses impossible to rank. Every scene in this has one good thing about it and the rest is just okay.

Cheesy, stupid movie whenever anyone is talking, but it’s also the most handsome-looking one of these movies in a while, and Jet Li is back, and his and Clubfoot’s action scenes are hot. The action is chopped up more than usual, but it works, until it doesn’t. Music is hit or miss – playing the OUATIC theme on Western instruments is cool but sometimes the composer plays a choir on a sampling keyboard, which is less cool. Wong loses his memory on a trip to America, joins a native tribe and hooks up with Agent Tammy Preston (in her only acting role outside of Twin Peaks). Sammo sure is trying some things to revive the series, sometimes successfully, but goes too broad and ends up with anti-racism for babies, nowhere near the heights of his Millionaire’s Express.

Our guys are joined by Billy (stuntman Jeff Wolfe), far right:

Sketch movie of disaffected gay youths, told “in 15 random celluloid fragments.” One guy is a videographer so we get TV interview segments cut between epic 90’s-indie-looking episodes blanketed with heavy music and concert posters/shirts and advertising billboards. Relationship dramas within James Duval’s friend group: the nice guy he starts dating ghosts him, Tommy’s dad kicks him out, Deric gets beat up by randos and doesn’t want to see video-Steven who’s hung up on him. Not as apocalyptic as Doom Generation, though it is bookended by suicides, ending with Duval drinking a Reverend Toller cocktail.

Plus Coil, J&MC, Ride, Kozelek, Unrest, Thrill Kill Kult, etc:

Long opening scene on a train where Jackie Chan’s Wong Fei-Hung runs around angering the authorities and mixing up with a spy played by the director who’s trying to stop Brits from exporting national artifacts. They get home with dad Ti Lung (the star of A Better Tomorrow until Chow got more famous) to stepmom Anita Mui, and it seems Wong and his idiot companion Tso (Ram Chiang of a recent Anita Mui biopic) are constantly bringing shame to the family (gambling addict Anita is egging him on though).

Jackie and Tso hide behind the poultry:

Meanwhile, a steel factory owner hires a new foreman to beat and burn the workers into working without overtime pay, and gets mad that Wong’s dojo is noisy, and the Brits hire the Axe Gang to kill the spy and get their stolen artifacts back. All hope is lost unless Jackie can get drunk enough to defeat everyone in sight, saving the family business and his country’s heritage. The action in this is wild.

Jackie and Anita vs. the director:

An improvement on Two Evil Eyes from the start, owning its TV-anthology aspirations with Carpenter playing a cryptkeeper mortician. The episodes are light and funny and quick – importantly, they’re a half-hour shorter. Firstly, Anne (of Netherworld) arrives to work the overnight shift at a gas station and Wes Craven is her first customer, a bad sign. It turns out that machete murder Robert “son of John” Carradine is visiting the station tonight, and she’ll end up fighting for her life.

Inspirational bathroom art:

Next, Stacy Keach is self-conscious about his thinning hair despite girlfriend Sheena “U Got the Look” Easton’s reassurances. He tries wigs and dyes and comb-overs then calls infomercialist David Warner, who gives him rapidly-growing long natural hair, to Sheena’s approval. But the new hairs are tiny medusa snakes that scream when cut, and Warner and Debbie Harry are aliens taking over humanity through their hair.

Patient Keach and Nurse Harry:

Part three opens with baseballer Mark Hamill crashing his car and losing an eye because he unbuckled his belt to reach for a tape of The B-52’s Cosmic Thing, then doctors Roger Corman and John Agar (of The Mole People) give him a transplant and he sees visions from the eye’s original owner. This came out between “Gary Gilmore’s Eyes” and the simultaneous release of The Eye and My Left Eye Sees Ghosts, and becomes a domestic abuse serial killer thriller, losing the campy fun in its second half, which is all good as a Mark Hamill showcase but less satisfying as the culmination of a feature film.

We’re the dead meat club:

This was meant to be Showtime’s answer to Tales from the Crypt, but out of cowardice they didn’t pick up the full series, which is why today Showtime barely exists as a Hulu add-on and the crypt-embracing HBO is still putting out quality work like The Sympathizer and Ren Faire.