A 1979 movie set in “the future”, which looks like… 1980. Cyrus is holding a conclave, wants to unite all street gangs to overthrow the cops and run the city, but so many gangs show up to the meeting and a Vincent Gallo-looking guy shoots Cy from the crowd then fingers the only witness as the shooter. After all this commotion the Warriors have to get back to their home borough with every creep gunning for them, but they don’t even figure out until the movie’s last 20 minutes why everyone’s mad at them. The action choreography is not great, nor sometimes are the goofy costumes (the overalls-and-rollerskates “punks” being the worst). But the comic-book Escape from New York adventure is compelling, and it was already giving West Side Story vibes with its gang stylings when I realized that the shooter is Jerry Horne, whose Twin Peaks costar Dr. Amp was in West Side.

Exactly the pose you make when you’re about to get shot:

Jerry Horne, cartoon version:

Warriors:

Mitchum and Greer had costarred in Out of the Past a couple years earlier, teamed up here because her ex ripped them both off. William Bendix of The Blue Dahlia and Lifeboat is the army guy after Mitchum for the stolen money, turns out he’s in cahoots with the ex. Everyone flees to Mexico and runs into The Inspector General (Ramon Novarro, very good, starred in the 1925 Ben-Hur). Siegel just getting started in a long fruitful career, still a decade out from making the dire-looking Hound-Dog Man.

Travel Man season 2 (2016)

– Vienna with Chris O’Dowd (they eat sausage and break a snow globe)
– Paris with British Bake Off host Mel Giedroyc (on snails: “the color of this is something I need to ignore”)
– Copenhagen with Noel Fielding (the first guest to out-joke Ayoade)
– Moscow with BBC star Greg Davies

W/ Bob & David (2015)

Haven’t seen this in a decade… wrote nothing last time… let’s rewatch it.

1. The guys travel through time… Bob becomes a work-from-home Pope… filmmaker David redefines slavery as “helperism” and lets Jay pretend to whip a Black man, which he must have enjoyed.

2. Not-great opening sketch about appeasing the Islamic heads of the network, but its final payoff mocking their own fans is worth it. B+D’s good/bad cop routine gets out of hand while Jay is a criminal (this part I believe). David plays Einstein in a biopic. Ennis has a bad experience at a dry cleaners and ends up cowriting a hit musical.

3. Bob flails on a cooking show, David flails as a consumer rights streamer at a traffic stop (Jay plays a violent authority-abuser), and David has the ability to summon people by insulting them.

4. Bob is the world’s worst bible salesman, and his one-man show mashing-up Seinfeld and Star Wars is a hit. A kid who looks upsettingly like me describes the murderers he met in heaven. Jay plays a klansman, I’m not making this up.

Since the show, director Jason Woliner did some Last Man on Earth and the second Borat movie. Scott Aukerman did Between Two Ferns. The composer worked with Mel Brooks and Bobcat Goldthwait.


The Show About The Show season 1 (2015-2017)

Caveh (KAH-vay) pitches a show where BPB and Alex Karpovsky do drugs with him, but it doesn’t fly, so he pitches a show about pitching that show, then the next episode will be about making the first episode, and so on. It’s documentary, then re-enactments, then the making-of the re-enactments, sometimes with people playing themselves and sometimes with actors, so you’re never sure what layer of reality you’re on. Caveh is neurotic and annoying and cruel, and the show is twisted and brilliant – he must have inspired Nathan Fielder. For some reason I crack up whenever Dustin Guy Defa (writer of The Mountain) is onscreen, playing Caveh’s studio boss (and rarely Terence Nance appears playing Dustin’s boss).


Uzumaki (2024)

Doomed animation miniseries from the same graphic novel as the beloved (by me alone) live-action film. The first couple episodes are more-or-less the movie’s story, with young couple Kirie and her more manic friend Shuichi. This time his dad spirals himself with no help from the washing machine, the Boy Who Likes Surprises comes back from his car crash as a zombie jack-in-the-box, and the news crew doesn’t arrive in spiral town until typhoons have driven the whole town into a massive spiral rowhouse.

The second half mostly introduces craziness that was too large-scale or wildly gruesome for the film. Kirie’s friend black-holes herself with her own spiral forehead. Mosquito swarms turn hospital patients into blood-draining zombies, while newborns are growing placenta-mushrooms. Kirie gets stalked by a whispering typhoon, and also by a neighbor transformed into a rat-eating spike monster, and the boy destroys a pottery kiln that has trapped his parents’ souls. Finally the town is leveled and our couple discovers the ancient subterranean spiral structures fueling the overground apocalypse.

One of the many credited directors worked on Ergo Proxy, which I just found out about. Music by a guy I saw play at Big Ears.


Archer season 10 (2019)

The outer space Firefly season. They meet interdimensional beings and doppelgangers, rescue various creatures, get into gladiator fights, and fight Robot Barry.


Space Ghost Coast to Coast season 1 (1994)

Really holds up.
RIP George and Clay.


Hari Kondabolu – Vacation Baby (2023)

Good, with surprisingly few gross baby jokes considering he became a dad during the pandemic.


Melomaniac (2023, Katlin Schneider)

Guy who enjoys live music becomes obsessed with recording it.
Sadly, I cannot relate.

J.S. Bach Fantasy in G Minor (1965)

Organist wedges an apple in his mouth and gets to work. The rest is a Bach music video, focused on decaying walls, locks and grates, with stop-motion interludes of gashes and holes appearing in pulsating rows. Finally all the doors are thrown open and the camera rushes into the streets, confronted with a whole new world of decaying walls and locks.


Et Cetera (1966)

Exuberant little movie with better music than the Bach (sorry). Three parts in seven minutes, each piece an action that reaches a loop point then fullscreen letters exclaim ETC, ETC, ETC. Of course the film begins with FINE so when it reaches the end, the entire piece is a loop, ETC ETC, until the film material melts in lovely stop-motion.


Punch and Judy (1966)

Incredible, two puppets fight over the price or possession of a live guinea pig, burying and mutilating each other in turn. Jan’s editing and close-ups have never been better.


Historia Nature Suite (1967)

Different families of animals in rapid montage (birds obvs. the best segment), combining artistic/scientific drawings, taxidermy, and live creatures into an edited whirl, each part ending with an extreme closeup of a guy eating creature-meat.


The Garden (1968)

Gardener takes his guest Fred home, tries to show off his prize rabbits but Fred is too distracted by the garden’s living fence (a chain of humans around the property holding hands). The gardener tells some secrets about the fencemen, unheard by us, and the guest immediately joins the fence. Live actors and the vaguely folk-horror scenario set this one apart.


Don Juan (1970)

Juan’s dad won’t lend him money, so the Don smashes his dad’s head in. Juan’s chosen girl’s dad disapproves, so the Don cuts the old man’s face off. Juan’s brother Felipe, beloved of the girl, seeks Juan in the forest to take revenge, so the Don stabs his brother full of holes. Then the girl’s dad returns as a vengeful ghost who sends Don Juan to hell. Some of the usual delights, and the effect of actors wearing giant eyeless marionette-suits is fun, but much of this is the people/puppets standing around and announcing their dialogue.


The Castle of Otranto (1977)

Documentary interview with a researcher who discovered that a Czech castle was the setting for an old Italian novel, with nearby caves and secret passages and armor fragments matching those in the book. Svank and the viewer grow tired of this at about the same time, and he switches focus to animating the book’s illustrations, retelling the story of a young woman being chased around by all the castle’s men until the castle is destroyed by a giant, who also interrupts the (fake) interview.


Another Kind of Love (1988)

Music video for a bland-looking British singer (Hugh Cornwell of The Stranglers) who seems to have been patient with the stop-motion process and allowed his clay doppelganger to be hilariously mutilated. Snappy editing.


Virile Games (1988)

Viewer watches a soccer game on TV but it’s a harlem-globetrottin’ version of soccer where points are scored by attacking the opposing players’ faces with foreign objects until their clay heads implode. The ball gets kicked through the viewer’s apartment window and the game is relocated to his cramped living room, not that he notices. Also: the viewer, the ref, and all the players are the same actor.

Look like somebody wanted to remake Resident Evil 6 – this looks more similar to RE6 than any other movie looks to RE6, even other Resident Evil movies, and Milla is even named Alice again. There’s some Monster Hunter thrown in (they are in the wasteland hunting monsters) and some post-apocalyptic Mad Maxisms. I haven’t been going out to the movie theater this year, missing important big-screen pictures like Nickel Boys and The Brutalist and Mickey 17, but prioritized this because I thought it would be… not great exactly, but fun/cool, and I nailed it.

Deep Lore sourced from an early George RR Martin story, Milla plays a cursed(?) magic mind-control witch, hunting a mighty werewolf alongside softie tough-guy Dave Bautista who thinks he’s hiding his werewolf identity from her, at the behest of Queen Amara Okereke (British theater actress), pursued by fanatical church assassin Arly Jover (Blade). Some good train action, including an escape from dangling railcars that doesn’t hold up great against the last Mission Impossible, some good fire, and too many CG snakes. The queen’s rival for control of the people “the patriarch” is Fraser James of Shopping, Anderson’s longest-running actor. Bautista’s girlfriend is Deirdre Mullins of Mandrake, her equally doomed business partner is the Polish Sebastian Stan. I said if this turned out to be good then I’ve gotta watch Pompeii, and I guess I’ve gotta.

Toothache (1983)

I hurt my tooth on a potato chip, so what better time to catch up on some early Kiarostami films. I’ve had the Koker blu box set for a couple years now, so it’s time to watch that, but first checking out the films he made just before Where Is The Friend’s House.

This would be a completely uninteresting educational short – first half follows a kid who doesn’t like to brush his teeth, and second half is a lecture from his dentist. The one thing that gives it an edge is that during the entire dental lecture you can hear the kid and other patients squealing and crying while getting poked and drilled.


Fellow Citizen (1983)

Stress-inducing condensed hour at work with a traffic guard tasked with preventing people from driving into the city center unless they have a permit or a special exception. Guess what, it turns out every single automobile driver in the city is a very special person with very special circumstances who deserves to be let through. Our guy lets them all through but feels increasingly taken advantage of and starts denying access more and more, among nonstop yelling and honking. Ends with a pure frustration montage set to the most psych-rock song of any Kiarostami film.


First Graders (1984)

After an attendance-taking intro, we spend the day in the principal’s office doing conflict resolution. Unlike the people at the traffic stop, the participants here seem unaware of the camera. They are little kids with undeveloped concepts of right, wrong, truth, etc., and you can see their big puzzled thinking faces in closeup. Halfway through, the camera unexpectedly follows the kid on crutches home, getting a bicycle lift from his dad. Overall some suspiciously posed/staged camera angles for a straight doc. It also follows an American Beauty plastic bag, as AK keeps changing his mind about what kind of movie to make.

“Nobody likes a cop.” A woman picks up her husband’s gun in the first second of the movie post-credits, what would Chekhov say about that? Robert Ryan (between The Set-Up and Clash by Night) is very tame for a supposedly short-tempered, violent officer on the trail of two cop killers. His team catches the guys, but Ryan is sent away to the country to cool off, where Ward Bond is on a rampage, promising to kill his daughter’s murderer without a trial. The suspect’s sister is blind Ida Lupino, so the movie stops its killer pursuits to hang out while these two assholes torment her. Her brother surfaces and spares the two men from having to kill him by falling off a cliff while running away.

Ryan in the country with Ward:

Ryan is good, at least, relative to the rest of the movie. Country and city folk have perfect diction, nothing feels authentic or lived-in – a couple shots of great truth and intensity, but a phony movie. The title always reminds me of crap 90s Steven Seagal social-issues actioner On Deadly Ground, but it turns out there was also a crap 90s Rob Lowe social-issues actioner called On Dangerous Ground.

Ryan in the city with his jittery informant, Welles regular Gus Schilling:

After her foster mum’s death, Marianne Jean-Baptiste consults compassionate social worker Lesley Manville about finding her real mum. Lesley gives her some options, says this should be handled delicately, and of course don’t just show up at mum’s doorstep, but Marianne is out of patience and does exactly that, getting to know Brenda Blethyn (Keira K’s mum in Pride & Prejudice and Keira’s boyfriend’s mum in Atonement) and remaining her “work friend” to the rest of the family until all the titular secrets get blurted out at a birthday party.

Brenda’s brother is Timothy Spall, his wife who nobody likes is Phyllis Logan, and mum’s other daughter (and birthday girl) is Claire Rushbrook of Adler’s Under the Skin, who brings along her boyfriend Paul. Poor Paul seems nice enough, has nothing to do while caught in this massive unloading of grudges, and when the fourth family secret within 15 minutes drops, he makes a facial twitch that justifies his entire existence in the film. As for Blethyn, she and the movie won top prizes at Cannes in a stacked year (Crash, Fargo, Breaking the Waves, Three Lives, Drifting Clouds). She’s excellent throughout, but one line delivery in particular, which I won’t detail here because I’m trying to stop thinking about it, had me upset all week. I planned to catch up on a few Mike Leigh films – maybe Meantime or High Hopes – before watching MJ-B’s comeback Hard Truths, but maybe stacking these in a single month would be overwhelming.

Josh Lewis: “So funny to make a movie as nihilistic and troubling as Naked and then immediately follow it up with Timothy Spall in this who is a contender for the nicest, warmest character in the history of movies.”

Relaxed film, supposedly a full rehearsal of the Chekhov play in a disused theater, director Andre Gregory and the small audience only seen at the beginning and during act breaks. Camera crew is onstage, so it’s an immersive drama that doubles as a distancing experiment. Everyone loves the important professor, come to his country home with hot new wife Julianne Moore, but as the days go on, all the men fall for Julianne and lose respect for the professor, who plans to repay their years of work on his estate by selling it off and making them homeless. Local doctor who never seems to go home is Larry Pine, the professor in Q, and thankfully I didn’t recognize this movie’s professor as the Police Academy commandant because that would have been so distracting. MVP Brooke Smith (the girl who puts the lotion in the basket in Silence of the Lambs).

Wallace Vanya with Moore and Lynn Cohen: